Sunday 21 April 2019

A Nightmare

As a kid, I was always shy, introvert, so much that my mother still believes that I have ego, arrogance or attitude problem. Also, another trait that I had was, I used to be scared of ghosts, so much that on Sunday, when the whole family would watch Zee horror show/Anhonee, I'd try to escape the opening credit sequence by either keeping hands on my ears or closing my ears with pillows, and read hanuman chalisa before sleeping.

But then that fear somehow fainted away, which is another hilarious story. One night, I think, I was still in teen years, may be 14 or 15, and still scared of watching horror movies, I could not sleep at night, so I switched on the television and if you are a 90s kid, you would know each cable operator used to show these late night movies, and my cable operator was showing Evil Dead. And at 2.00Am, I watched all of the Evil dead parts, laughing hard.

Anyway, this is about nightmare that I encountered some months ago. I'm writing it to document it, because the thought of it, still gives me jitters. I was asleep one day, and suddenly, somehow it felt, like I could not move and I was subconsciously awake. Thus, I know that what I was experiencing is in medical terms known as sleep paralysis, a condition in your REM, you encounter temporary paralysis.

But while experiencing this medical phenomena, I was also going through a dream. Before I let you know about this dream, let me digress a bit.

During summer holidays, we would alternate each year and visit our relatives from my mother's side and then another year, relative's from my father's side. So, when we used to visit our relative's from my mother's side, we would usually stay at our grand parent's house, and it was a big house and there will be lot of cousins to hang around and during summer every kid would bath outside, and me being shy, would opt for bathroom instead.

So towards the rear door, there was a big bathroom, and somehow the house was constructed in such a way that during the day too, that bathroom would be dark and it had a huge mirror, in which you can see yourself till waist. So, whenever after the bath or while taking the bath, I'd look at the mirror, I would see a face, it was clear to me yet, invisible to me, it was as if someone could see me through the mirror. It was a lady, with long open hairs, big vermilion dot on the forehead. This continued till I reached 10th standard and after that I kind of stopped visiting grand mother's home, as we had a pet, and my mother used to work elsewhere and only one of us sibling could visit, so my sister would go each year.

Anyway, so in my dream, I see this same lady, and she's sitting on top of me, and I'm completely in submissive mode, my hands are above my head and she's holding me down and I'm trying to get away from it, I'm scared. But she does not budge at all and I am unable to move her at all. At last after continuous trying and getting tired, I plead her to leave me and she says, "not today, today, I'll take you with me" and she leaves one of my hand, raises her hand and just like a tiger's or a big cat's claws, her fingers start coming out of her hands and she literally starts bolting it down towards my kidney, like its some of nail that's being drilled into me and then suddenly I wake up from this dream.

The dream is not scary, per se its too cliche'. But what makes it scary is that once my mother and sister were talking and I just listened to my mother talking about one of her Aunt, and I told her, I had seen her, my mother mentioned that it was not possible for me to see her, since she had died a long time ago, even before my mother got married. And I have been seeing her image in that bathroom mirror for god knows how many years and then that image suddenly appears in my dream. That made it the most scariest nightmare that I have encountered. 

Monday 24 October 2011

The Big Thing


I read a small story somewhere a while ago. It was mythological. Once bheem was wandering in the forest and found a lake. When he stepped into the lake to have bath, he found a shoulder band which belonged to the Great hanuman and it was said it was missing. He took it thinking it would give him immense power and add to his valore and pride.

When he tried to tie it on his shoulder, the shoulder band increased its size automatically. Seeing this, a little agitated Bheem, exercised increased his size and then tried the band again but the band again increased it's size. He felt sorry and understood that this belonged to the great Hanuman which was not for any of the earth being even if it was the strongest human being on the planet.

To show his praise of the great hanuman and his faith in him, bheem constructed the sculpture of hanuman and tried to put the shoulder band on the shoulder of hanuman's sculpture, but the same thing continued, no matter what the size of the sculpture, the size of the shoulder band would increase. Tired of seeing this, bheem feeling relented, and left the shoulder band. What does this story teach us?

From what I see, it teaches us that every person has a place on this earth and no one can fill the shoes of any other person. Like the shoulder band belonged to hanuman and every time it was tied to a shoulder, it increased it's size.

Another thing that we get hold from this story is that what does not belong to you, will never be yours no matter how much you work for it. So instead of working for something which is not yours, work hard for something which can be yours.

Monday 26 September 2011

Ek tha Tiger:


This blog is not about the salman starrer movie. It is about a Tiger. Last week on early saturday morning, a whole village lynched a tiger. It has been said that the tiger was cannibal, it had killed one woman and injured several others. After reading the news, my mind ventured into thoughts, thoughts like can we afford to lose even a cannibal tiger, did it really make sense killing the tiger.

There are several questions that have been rising. Per experts, until recently no tiger was witnessed in the area. So how did the tiger suddenly entered the area? May be because we are closing in on them. What made him a cannibal. Possibly it could be accidental or perhaps the tiger was hungry and unknowingly ventured into a human area where it found the woman and attacked her.

The news says that the tiger was lynched by the large number of crowds with rock and sticks. Fine, it was cannibal and even it had killed a human being. So was it liable to be killed in such dreadful way. People who are serial killer who have raped many women have not been attacked in such a severe manner let alone killed. I'll try to put it in words how the tiger was killed.

The tiger was continously being chased by the village people from morning. It was tired, even forest officer were trying to catch the tiger so that it could be taken to safe place. Early morning the tiger was witnessed by the forest officials where they saw the tiger was tired of being chased. So they captured it easily, but suddenly someone from the gathered crowd threw a rock on the tiger, it roared which dispersed the crowd immediately. The tiger ran for life again, but this time the fate had some other plans for the tiger, it entered a quick sand and then vulgar picture of our so called society was witnessed. It is said, the crowd gathered had as many as 20k people and they killed the tiger with sticks and rocks whatever they had in their bare hands.

Wonder what would have prompted them to kill the tiger. Was it the continous loss or unjustice that we as society have been witnessing through naxalism, corruption, racism, and treatment based on religion. Could this have prompted such  a reaction from the crowd knowing that the tiger is an endangered species which numbers only in hundreds now, or did they feel it was justice to kill the tiger since it had killed. If the latter is a reason, then may be it is time we should start taking pictures of each of those extinct species in their environment, because with this pace, our children and grand children will only witness them in pictures and at some point even google would say, no result found.

Even if we leave the endangered part out, the tiger as it is, is said to be Goddess Durga's mount. But did this even crossed the mind frame of that crowd who was hellbent on killing the tiger. In a few days, navratri would start and this same society will keep the goddess durga in homes with this same tiger and will pray but this time they preyed. The killed tiger was just 5 years old, barely an adult which had not even conceived once, wonder if it had been alive, it could have helped increase the number of tigers even may be just some digits.

Anyway, the tiger is dead, fingers have been raised, committees have been made to enquire about the behaviour and some people may get some punishment. Just for the information, killing an A listed endangered species in their own habitat amounts to 7 years in prison and fine of upto 7 lacs where as if it is outside its habitat, this same  punishment goes down to 1 year prison and fine of upto 1 lacs. With this I let you decide what should be the punishment for killing a tiger and what should be the punishment for killing a human being.

The last legion


Rahul Dravid:

I hate you. I hate the way you remain calm in the adverse situation, I hate to see you play, you are too boring, even seeing you play in T20 feels that you are slow (even though you may hit sixes) and score with strike rate of above 100. Don't give me that look, it is not in your nature to show that aggressiveness, the best you can do is be the bore that you are and go on.

This are the traits that we as India and the world will never witness again in ODI's. Because Dravid (The test cricketer) who cannot play one day cricket retired from one day cricket after amassing 10000 runs and some odd 300+ one days. They say you are slow, but these were the same people who ridiculed Jacques kallis for being slow and now this same people have extinct because Jacques kallis shut them out.

But you are unlike Jacques kallis. Every time fingers have been raised, you went back, revised the basics and came back strong. Dude, what were the basics? Remain calm, build an innings, remain poised, weather the storm, concentrate and work hard. This is what you had done all the years. Result, there was always someone to outshine you, stand on the platform created by you and become the face of the day, and you my friend remained a second fiddle always.

They say you are not Tendulkar or for that instance but do they understand there is no other dravid too. No other player who in terms played Gentlemen's game. To those people, yes this slow test cricketer is no tendulkar or ganguly, because there is no other ganguly or tendulkar born, like there is no gary sobers, clive lloyd or zaheer abbas. But Just because he is no tendulkar, ganguly means his accomplishments are to be ignored???

For the stats, he is the only 2nd indian batsman to score fastest 50, only batsman to feature in 2 highest partnership. The only second batsman to hit 4 consecutive hundreds after sunil gavaskar, one of the all time highest run getter in world cricket, a record 200 catches. Anyway, I'm not here to say this numbers, I'm here to show that your retiring is not going to make any difference.

Yes, I said it, it is not of any importance, those T20 specialist will easily take care of it. You will not be missed not even slightly even though india may be half down in pavilion and our only hope used to be you to reach a respectable score. Even if they cannot take care of it, atleast they will not bore us, we will be entertained by their way of getting out, some sixes and sky shattering shots. They will not stick around the wicket all day, they will not weather the storm, they will be hurricane, come and gone.

Dravid, you THE WALL are to remain a second fiddle in Indian cricket and you will not be missed. Why, because you were born in a land were cricket is a religion, were batting is easy, people want to be Tendulkar because he can hit big sixes and you my friend have hit only 19 sixes in your test career. How can you think of inspiring such a generation of human beings were they want everything on the go, on the platter served fast. Hang your ODI boots dear friend, this generation will not take inspiration from you. We want heroes, who can fight. No one wants a second fiddle to be our idol . We do not remember mithun chakraborty from Agneepath, why because he was a second to Great Amitabh bachchan, we do not remember Pran from many of Amitach bachchan movies, dude he played second to amitabh. So how could we even imagine you as idol for our generation.

I know you have some test cricket left with you and I'll still see some boring big innings from you and read several forums were they will criticize you, so till then to voice their criticism, I end this blog with "Please stop, let this generation see what will they be missing without you in the team. Give them a chance.

Sunday 25 September 2011

If I have just one day to live.


If I have just one day left to live....

Mr Will smith once said, "Life is not about how much you breath, it is about how many moments that took your breath away". I pretty much agree with it. There are days when I really feel alive and then there are days, where in I behave like a Zombie, who does not know anything, no feelings, nothing just walking ahead without any thought about where it's going to lead...

Yesterday, I wondered, what if I have just one day to live..would it be zombie that would be living or would that be me...who is alive. I guess latter will take over the zombie like Neo bringing Agent smith down in matrix. What would I do, where would I go, how would I spend those last 24hrs of my life???Some of the questions, that is easily said then done...

There are something that I wanted to do like seeing niagara falls, pyramids of egypt, colosseum in Italy (for the sheer experience that I had while watching gladiator), but these things cannot be done in a span of 24hrs so saying I'd do this in my last 24hrs would be grossly inappropriate..

What would I do??

I'd make it an adventurous day, doing things that I normally do not conjure up to do. First would be talking to my mom (before you get ideas, i love my mom very much, it's just that I have trouble with phones and calling people). Then my sister, ankit (my friend, brother perhaps everything), I'd call them too and buy gifts for all these people so that they have a part of me, when I depart away from them. I know it does not look quite adventure and perhaps is very simple, but why in these times simple things have become underrated, wasnt earlier chapati and vegetables were favourite rather than burgers and pizza, was playing with friends not of high importance rather than gushing about online gaming....

I would like my life's last 24hrs to be sweet, quiet and honest 21600 breaths. That end would mean my life was worthed. Although living life on my terms, I lived for others for one day, appreciated there presence in my life and left this world with smile on my face...That would be how I'd like to spend my last 24hrs...